


srogers@avengers.com

by FestiveFerret



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Falling In Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Steve vs Email, Steve vs the ATM, relationship drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-16 20:54:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19325908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FestiveFerret/pseuds/FestiveFerret
Summary: Between digital watches, ATMs, emails, and microwaves, Steve is exhausted by the future. Tony is only trying to help, and Steve appreciates it, but sometimes, he just needs a break from all the tech in the tower.





	srogers@avengers.com

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lacrimula_Falsa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacrimula_Falsa/gifts).



Steve didn't hate the future, not at all. But there were things about it that he definitely deeply,  _ deeply  _ disliked.

"That's the timer button," Tony said, pressed up against Steve side and peering over his shoulder, breathing on his neck.

"I thought you said that was the hour button," Steve grumbled, poking at the watch on his wrist again. 

Tony sighed softly, the sigh of someone who was tired of repeating themselves, but trying hard to stay polite. "It is. When you're in clock change mode, it turns into the hour button."

"Why doesn't it just stay the _ same damn button all the time?"  _ Steve growled.

"Shhhh," Thor whispered on the other side of Steve. "I'm enjoying the television play and you're being very loud."

Steve took a deep breath then pulled the watch off his wrist. He chucked it in Tony's lap and crossed his arms. "Can you just set the time for me? Please?" he whispered. 

"You're never going to use the other features are you?" Tony picked up the watch and started fiddling with it, buttons magically doing whatever he wanted them to do without argument. 

Steve could feel his cheeks heating as he slipped lower on the couch and turned his attention pointedly back to the TV. "I'll try," he managed.

The truth was he didn't even want a digital watch. He wanted his old military A-11 but it hadn't been ticking when he'd come out of the ice. He still had it, in storage somewhere, but it didn't work, so Tony had gifted him this fancy digital watch that "did all kinds of things" and would be "super useful," but Steve couldn't even get it to tell him the damn time.

He tried to turn his attention back to the TV, a show called Star Trek, while Tony masterfully convinced the watch to work, but he didn't really get the point of the show. Apparently there was something amusingly fun about watching what people in the late eighties thought the distant future was going to be like, but it sort of missed the mark for Steve. Some of it seemed to have already come true - like their communicators and all the appliances and gadgets that ran the ship and gave them food and information. It didn't seem that much different from JARVIS. But sometimes the others would laugh and Steve smiled too, so no one would think he wasn't enjoying himself.

Thor, oddly, was enjoying it most of all, occasionally chuckling to himself and whispering, "That's not how space works," with the same amused affection someone might use when watching a baby try to put a round toy into a square hole.

When the episode came to an end, Steve stood. "Not up for another one?" Natasha asked, and even though Steve could tell she'd be a bit disappointed, he shook his head.

"Sorry, not right now. I have a letter to mail and the box gets picked up at four. You guys can go on without me, though?"

"Oh no," Clint said seriously. "Then you'll be all confused. It's okay. We can wait. I need to hit the gym anyway." He patted Nat on the knee then stood and made for the door. Steve went to follow him out but Tony caught him by the arm.

"Here." He was holding out the watch, now sporting the correct time.

"Thanks, Tony." Steve fastened it around his wrist, alternating between two holes when one was too tight and one was too loose and settling on too loose.

"I can show you how to change it, if you like. And use the other features."

"Sure," Steve said, and he even sounded disinterested to himself. "Another time?"

"Yeah, of course. Mail your letter."

Steve escaped to his room. He tucked his letter to Peggy into his inner jacket pocket then zipped it up and took the elevator down to the main floor. There was a huge mailroom in the basement of the tower, used by the SI floors as well as the other Avengers, but Steve preferred to put his letter in a mailbox at the post office. 

It wasn't the way he remembered a post office being, but there was a slot for him to put his letter in, and he could buy stamps there, and that was enough to keep the illusion alive. He tapped his lips lightly to the letter before dropping it in - one of Peggy's aides would read it to her on a good day - and stepped back out on the street. He didn't feel like going right back to the tower, and it was a nice day out, so he meandered slowly down the street, peeking in all the storefronts along the way. 

At the corner was the bodega that they often used for snack runs. It was nice, because all the workers knew the Avengers so there was never any squealing or fawning. Steve still wasn't quite sure how to handle fawning.

He slipped inside, his guilt about earlier drawing him to the snack aisle to get apology Gobstoppers for Tony. He'd only been trying to help with the watch, and Steve had snapped at him, and after his walk in the fresh air, he felt quite bad about it. Steve found his way to the candy aisle and picked up the yellow Gobstoppers box. He smiled at the candy, imagining Tony's grin when he handed it over. Not many people knew Tony's favourite candy, but Steve did. 

He added a couple Charleston Chews for himself, and a pack of gum then went to the cash register. The kid there nodded and typed in the numbers while Steve pulled his wallet out. Oddly, money in plastic cards hadn't been that hard to get his head around. He'd hated carrying change around as a kid, always worrying about losing it. And this way he could tune out how incredibly much things cost these days and just hand over his card, sign his name, and be done with it. 

But this time, when he handed over his card, the kid shook her head. "Sorry." She pointed to a sign on the counter. "POS is down. Just cash today."

"Oh." Steve frowned at the sign he hadn't even seen. "Okay." He was more disappointed than was reasonable. All he wanted was to get Tony some candy - it shouldn't be this hard.

"There's an ATM at the back, though." The girl pointed again, down next to the coolers. "No fee today."

"Right. Okay. Thank you." Steve couldn't think of a reason to explain why he wouldn't just use the ATM to draw cash and pay with that, but now all he wanted to do was say, "Nevermind," and run out of there. But Tony's Gobstoppers… and he had no other cash to buy them. He nodded and left his candy on the counter, drifting back towards the ATM. The impersonal screen hummed in soft green at the back of the store.

_ Insert card!  _ the machine helpfully enformed him. But the machine was  _ covered  _ in card-shaped slots, and Steve stood there at a loss for a moment, holding the square of plastic, wishing he could just hand it to the machine and it would trade him for cash.

He knew he could ask the kid at the counter and she'd almost certainly help him, but he had ten years (or eighty) on her, and he couldn't bring himself to ask for help with something so simple. He poked his card at a few of the slots but nothing happened. 

"Shit," he huffed under his breath. 

"Are you - um?"

He turned around sharply to find a middle aged woman with a shopping basket looking concerned, eyes flicking between Steve and the ATM. "Pardon?" he asked.

"Are you using that, or do you mind if I -?" She waved her wallet towards it.

"Oh! No, of course, go right ahead. I was just -" he gestured awkwardly towards the cooler beside him "- thinking I might…" He sidestepped and bent to examine the sodas with too much attention, but out of the corner of his eye, he watched the woman use the ATM, marking which slot she put her card in, which buttons to hit, and which slot the money came out of. It seemed okay, doable, except for one thing.

_ What is my money code?  _ Steve texted to Natasha.

_ What? _

_ What is the code to get money out? _

_ Uhh, I'm going to need a little more to go on, sorry bud. _

_ At the ATM. It wants a four digit number. _

The woman walked away, shooting Steve a concerned look, and he pulled a shockingly blue soda out of the cooler and smiled at her in what he hoped was an innocent sort of way. She hustled up to the counter and he slipped back in front of the ATM and put his card in the right slot. It disappeared, tugged right out of his hands. "Hope that was the right one…"

_ Oh. Your PIN. Uhh. I think Tony set that up for you? One sec. _

Steve didn't want to text Tony about it - he'd made enough of a fool of himself in front of Tony for one day, and he really wanted to present the Gobstoppers without Tony's help, but it was too late to back out now. If Natasha didn't know, he'd have to ask Tony. He couldn't just leave after all this, or he'd never be able to show his face in this bodega again.

_ JARVIS says it's 1918. _

Ah. His birthday. That made sense.  _ Okay, thank you.  _

He pushed the buttons carefully, wincing at the loud beeps. Next, the machine asked,  _ checking or saving?  _ Steve stared. He had no idea, and he didn't want to ask Natasha again. He pushed one of the buttons but the machine just beeped angrily and didn't advance. He tried another, same thing. He tried the buttons on the other side and it flashed to the next page: how much money he wanted.

The smallest was twenty dollars, which already seemed like an insane amount, but everything was an insane amount of money, these days, and he hadn't paid attention to the total for his candy. The only thing worse than leaving without buying anything would be taking out money and then it not being enough and having to come back and go through all of this again. He pushed eighty dollars, praying that would cover it all. He had tons of money, between Tony's weird trust system for supporting the Avengers, his military backpay, and his SHIELD paycheck. He had more than he'd ever spend, even at 2012 prices, so there was no harm in taking more than he needed.

Thankfully, the machine spit out four twenty dollar bills, smooth and crisp, and then his card and a receipt. Steve took everything up the counter, not sure if the receipt was going to be needed in some way.

The girl eyed his hand and he realized he was still holding the bottle of bright, blue soda. "Saw this and couldn't resist," he said through clenched teeth, placing it incredibly carefully on the counter next to his candy.

The girl typed into the register then read out a total that he managed to tune out completely, again, focused instead on the  _ Bloo Razzzzberry!!  _ that decorated the side of the soda bottle. He placed two twenties on the counter and she stuck a finger on one of them and slid it over to her, one eyebrow twisted up. She gave him his change, put everything in a plastic bag, and handed it over.

"Have a nice day," she drawled.

"...You too. Thank you." Steve stepped back out onto the street. He felt like he'd been in the bodega for days. He blinked into the sunlight to get his bearings, then started the walk back to the tower. In the elevator, Steve asked JARVIS where Tony was.

"I'm afraid he's on an important conference call in his study, Captain. I can let him know you're looking for him when he's done?"

"That would be great, thank you." 

Steve continued up to his apartment and dumped his bag on the counter. Considering what he went through to get it, the tiny contents hardly felt like a victory. He didn't even want the blue soda. He put it in the fridge anyway, because he couldn't bring himself to waste food and it seemed like the kind of thing Clint or Natasha would like. 

Hungry for something more substantial than pure sugar and food dye, Steve poked around in the fridge, but he didn't have much in there. So far, he'd mostly relied on the others for food, using whatever was in the communal kitchen, or offering to clean in exchange for sharing someone's dinner. Cooking wasn't something he'd ever been particularly good at, and it seemed to be even more complicated now. He didn't recognize half the food in the grocery stores. Not to say it was bad, food in the 21st century was  _ delicious,  _ but he'd be damned if he knew how to make it himself.

He poked idly at the high-end appliances Tony had installed for him. So far, he'd used the fridge and the stove top. That was it. He knew the blender and the microwave. He hadn't actually ever used either, but he'd seen the others make smoothies or re-heat leftovers. His microwave had a panel of carefully labelled buttons, and he figured that, like the ATM, he could figure it out himself, especially with no pressure from a cashier or other shopper making the back of his neck heat.

Steve didn't have any leftovers in the fridge, but there was a collection of buttons along the bottom of the panel for various types of foods he wouldn't mind eating. In Star Trek, they said it out loud, and maybe JARVIS could do that too, but -

Steve pushed the "Popcorn" button.

The microwave sprung to life, a light coming on inside, humming as the plate in the middle spun around and round. He didn't see any popcorn, though.

"Captain, if I may -?" JARVIS said gently.

"Yes?"

"It's not advisable to run the microwave without any food inside. If you'd like microwave popcorn, I can add some to your personal shopping list. Alternately, I know there is a large supply in the communal kitchen."

The back of Steve's neck burst into flames and he slapped his fingers over the buttons until the humming stopped and the light turned off. "Right… yeah. Don't worry about it. I was just - experimenting."

"Scientific enquiry is an extremely worthwhile pursuit, Captain. I encourage it as much as possible. It led to my creation, after all."

It was a very kind and only a little condescending acceptance of Steve's idiocy. "Thank you, JARVIS. I'll… keep that in mind." Steve sat down hard on the couch then leaped to his feet when a knock on the door startled him out of his rapidly approaching funk. "Come in."

The door opened and Tony sauntered in. "Hey, Cap. J said you needed me?"

"Oh, it's nothing important." Steve went to the kitchen and pulled the plastic bag from his shopping towards him. He took out the box of Gobstoppers and offered it to Tony. "I wanted to thank you for helping me with my watch earlier. I'm sorry if I was short with you. I didn't get much sleep last night."

Tony smiled softly at the candy and took it, running his thumb down the seam of the box. "Thanks. I love these things. Just don't tell my dentist, okay?" He winked.

"Secret's safe with me."

"You sure everything's alright, Steve? If your bed's not comfy, I can order you a new one. Ten new ones. Whatever you need."

Steve waved him off, shaking his head. "No, no. It's not the bed. The bed's great. Just, you know, one of those nights." He slumped down on the couch and Tony sat next to him, shaking a candy out of the box. He offered them to Steve, but he shook his head. Tony seemed to be waiting for some explanation for Steve's mood, but he didn't want to reveal that he'd been flummoxed by, in turns, a watch, an ATM, and a microwave, today, so he cast back for something from that morning. "I wanted to read the paper instead of having JARVIS read the news to me, but apparently they don't even have a paper version anymore, but JARVIS said I could get an online subscription, but then I tried that, and it told me I needed an account, so I tried to make an account, but I needed an email. I - I just got frustrated."

"I can make you an email account, Steve. No problem. There's so much you can't do without email, plus it's a faster way to stay in touch with people. SHIELD probably already has one for you, actually, but I can make you a personal one."

"Uh, do I really need that?"

"Of course you do. Most people have three or four. I have nineteen. It's nothing, Cap, no problem. I'll get it set up for you."

"Thanks…" Steve held back a sigh. Tony was already typing on his phone. Email sounded like one more complication of the future that Steve wouldn't be able to understand. But Tony was so excited to provide it for him, and Steve couldn't bear to tell him that all he wanted was a quiet night in his apartment without any technology.

Tony took Steve's tablet and installed the email, showing Steve how to read and write messages, even sending him a test with a little smiling face inside. Steve smiled and nodded along, but when Tony finally bounced out of the apartment, cheeks stuffed with Gobstoppers, Steve flopped flat on the couch and thumped a pillow over his head. He was  _ exhausted.  _

**

The next morning, Steve tucked his tablet in a drawer so he wouldn't have to think about it. JARVIS read him the news, like he'd done for the since Steve arrived at Stark Tower a few months ago. Steve still wished he could read it on real paper, but he didn't understand half of it anyway, so it hardly seemed to matter. 

For the next week, he focused on Avengers' business - training, sitting in strategy meetings with SHIELD, anything that let him avoid facing how much of the future there still was to learn. Tony asked him, once or twice, if he was enjoying having email, having online news sent straight to his digital mailbox, and Steve couldn't bear to break his heart. He was so proud of Steve for trying and so supportive that Steve smiled and assured him he was, swore to himself that he'd try it and then… he didn't.

It wasn't really malicious, he just never got around to it. And besides, it didn't seem important. Who would send him an email? He hadn't signed up for the digital newspaper so surely it would just sit there collecting dust if he didn't use it.

After a training session with Natasha and Thor, Steve showered, changed, and went to find a quiet place to sit. He stepped out on the balcony to find Tony already there. He smiled at the back of Tony's head, calmed by his mere presence. He'd been hoping for some time alone but he could be alone with Tony. "Hey."

Tony craned his head back over his chair and pushed his sunglasses up. "Hey, Steve. What's up?"

"Thought some fresh air might be nice." Steve sat down in the chair next to Tony's. 

"You'll have to go upstate for that," Tony said with a snort, then he popped to his feet. Steve was briefly disappointed that he seemed to have chased Tony off, but then Tony added, "Just remembered! I have something for you. Hold on. I'll be right back."

Steve waited, curiosity making him watch though the glass doors as Tony disappeared down the hall, but when he didn't immediately return, Steve turned back to the skyline. It was true that the air wasn't exactly fresh, there was an au d'city that couldn't be ignored, but it was still a change from the hyper-cycled air inside of the tower, and even if it wasn't quite right, quite the same, it was still home, to some degree. Steve breathed in and leaned back in his chair. At least now the smog didn't make him cough and splutter. The honking and yelling was far enough below that all he could hear was the wind. He let his eyes close.

The door creaked open then closed behind him, and he felt Tony's presence settle back on the other chair. "Hey." He opened his eyes.

Tony was smiling softly at him, a small box clutched in his hands. "Hey. You look happy."

"Do I? Hmm." Steve blinked out at the Manhattan rooftops. "I am, actually. Today was a good day. I feel good."

Tony beamed. "That's great. Here." He thrust the box at Steve, who took it and popped the lid off. 

It was his watch. Not just a replica, his actual A-11, with the proper time, ticking and everything.

" -Tony? How…"

"I could tell you didn't like the new one, not really." Tony turned away a little, flopping sideways on his chair, eyes flicking away from Steve as his cheeks heated. "Fury said your old Army-issued one was in SHIELD storage with your other stuff. So I sent it to my watch guy to be restored." His gaze found Steve's again, nervous this time. "I hope it's okay. I debated between asking and making it a surprise, but I like surprises."

Steve blinked down at his watch. "I - I don't know what to say. Thank you. This - this is what I wanted. I didn't know it could be fixed. Honestly, it's probably all for the best you didn't ask. I would have said not to worry about it. But -" He pulled the pristine watch out of the box and rolled his thumb across the face. It ticked comfortingly.

Tony held out his hand. "May I?"

Steve handed him the watch and his wrist. Tony deftly unclicked the digital watch and tossed it in the box then gently wrapped the A-11 around Steve's wrist and latched it in place. His fingers were warm on Steve's palm, and Steve felt that heat flow up his arm to the back of his neck. Tony touching him had never made him feel like this before. There was something charged and electric between them.

"Thank you," Steve all but whispered.

"Anything for you," Tony said, all too easily. Then he sighed softly and tipped back in his chair with a smile.

Steve stared at him for a moment longer, something new unfurling slowly in his chest, tucked safe and warm between his heart and lungs.  _ Tony… _ He couldn't process it all right now, so Steve settled back in his chair, watching the first rays of sunset glow on the horizon.

Steve couldn't help looking back at his wrist. It felt  _ right.  _ "You have a watch guy?" he teased gently, just to hear Tony laugh.

Tony gave him his reward, then winked over at Steve. "I have an everything guy."

**

Steve walked in the kitchen, and Tony's eyes snapped up so fast Steve was worried about whiplash. Tony's intense gaze followed him across to the fridge, and Steve took a surreptitious peek at his reflection in the stainless steel, wondering what had caught Tony's attention.

It had been a few weeks since Tony had given Steve his watch back and things had been nothing but lovely between them. The warmth in Steve's chest had only grown as they spent more and more time together. The future really was looking up.

Natasha and Clint were making eggs and messing around by the stove. Steve dodged them as he filled a bowl with yogurt, granola, and fruit. He sat down next to Tony who made a tiny squeaking noise like he'd been stepped on. "You okay?" Steve asked.

"Yup. Good. All good. Nice day. Dream well? Uh… sleep well?" His cheeks were bright pink.

"Fine… thank you. You?"

"Sure. Albeit briefly."

"Something keeping you up?" Steve meant it teasingly, but Tony opened and closed his mouth, shrugged, laughed awkwardly, then bolted from the room. Steve looked at Nat and Clint for answers, but they hadn't seemed to notice, caught up in their cooking and conversation.

Steve ate his food with a book, but he couldn't help letting his mind wander out of the room after Tony, wondering what was up with him today.

It wasn't until after dinner that Steve had a chance to talk to Tony again. Steve'd had a busy day, mostly out of the tower, and he'd picked up takeout for everyone on his way back. Bruce and Thor had shared it with him, Nat and Clint still out at SHIELD, and Tony not showing up to the summons for food. Steve took the stir fry he'd ordered for Tony and went down to the workshop, but Tony wasn't there.

"JARVIS? Where's Tony?"

"He's in his apartment, Captain."

"Oh. Huh." Steve turned back to the elevators. Usually, when Tony didn't show for a while, it was because he was working on something. And he rarely worked in his apartment. Steve fully expected no one to answer at the penthouse. But after two knocks, the door flung open and Tony was revealed, looking a bit wild in sweatpants and a ratty band t-shirt. He immediately flushed and tugged at the hem of his shirt.

"Hey, Steve," he breathed.

"Hey… Tony. Uh - I got everyone food and you didn't show, so I thought I'd bring you yours." He lifted his own dessert up. "Thought we could eat together."

Tony vibrated in place, eyes darting down to the food then back up to Steve's face. "Oh. Yes. Okay. Perfect. I'm - Come on in." He stepped back and gestured Steve in, like Steve hadn't spent several evenings a week here for the last few months.

"Everything okay?" Steve asked, and Tony nodded. "It's just odd for you to lock yourself up here instead of down in the workshop."

Tony shrugged. "Just, uh, couldn't focus today." He gave Steve a pointed look. "Thought I'd keep to myself. Um. Except for you, of course."

"Right…" It felt like they were having two separate conversations, and Steve couldn't figure out where to jump tracks to end up in Tony's. "Want to watch a movie?"

"Okay!" Tony grabbed the food out of Steve's hands and hit the kitchen briefly before making a beeline for the couch. Steve sat down beside him and started picking at his cheesecake while Tony spooned his stir fry over rice.

JARVIS cued up the next movie in their list, and Steve settled in to watch Terminator, getting sucked into the action with pleasure. But the couch kept bouncing and shifting as Tony moved around on the cushions, unable to settle. Whenever Steve looked over at him, Tony tensed, eyes snapping away from where they'd been fixed on the side of Steve's face to the screen. 

"Are you okay?" Steve asked again, towards the end of the movie.

"Fine," Tony gritted out, shifting again, rolling his wrist until it cracked. "Fine…"

"Uh, okay." Steve took his empty cake container to the kitchen and put it in the recycling. "I liked that one," he said when Tony appeared at his side. Nervous energy seemed to have been replaced with anxious anticipation. Tony's eyes were creased tightly at the corners and his mouth was a thin, hard line.

"Good."

"I'm - Goodnight, then." Steve turned to go, hoping that whatever was bothering Tony would be a fluke, resolved by tomorrow morning.

"Goodn - wait. Uh." Tony shifted towards him, blocking his path to the door. "Everything's… okay? Right? Things are… good?"

Steve nodded slowly. "Everything's great. I'm finally feeling like I belong here and that's thanks to you. I love the family we have here, Tony, really. I'm - I'm happy. And you're so much of that. You're my best friend. I hope that never changes. I'll always be here for you if you need anything."

Steve expected that to be what Tony needed to hear, reassurance that Steve cared for him, wanted to be with him, that Tony hiding himself away all day made Steve miss him. And also, that if there was something Tony needed to talk about, he could talk about it with Steve. Steve reached out to rest a hand on Tony's shoulder, but Tony flinched back.

"Right," he said, hard and cool. "Good, yeah. That's good. Okay. I just - I have to go to bed. But thanks… bestie."

"Um." Steve searched for something else to say, but Tony was already gone, whisked right out of the room.

It wasn't better the next morning.

Tony left right after a hurried breakfast, ignoring Steve calling after him and blasting right out of the tower. Steve didn't see Tony for two days, after that. JARVIS assured them that he was doing important Stark Industries work in California, but Steve didn't even get a phone call, and as far as he could tell, none of the other Avengers had heard anything from him either.

He was just about ready to call it an Assemble, sure that Tony had actually been kidnapped and JARVIS had been fooled, when Tony sauntered back into the common room, sunglasses on, shirt two buttons down, and a perfectly sculpted, hourglass shaped, blonde supermodel grinning on his arm.

"Oh," Steve said, not having a clue what else he could say. "Tony -"

"Hey, guys!" Tony called to the room. "This is Jocylyn. Jocylyn is just leaving." The supermodel laughed prettily, kissed Tony on his cheek and waved, turning back to the elevator. Tony opened the fridge and re-appeared with an energy drink and a handful of chocolate almonds. "What's up? Any Avengers business while I was gone?"

"Uh, no," Bruce said. "Everything's fine. Are you-?"

"Late for a date is what I am." Tony chugged at least half of the drink then followed it with the almonds. "Later, kids!" he said around a mouthful of chocolate. He waved and walked out of the room.

They all stared after him.

"Is he alright?" Thor asked.

"Steve you should talk to him," Natasha offered, but Steve shook his head.

"He won't talk to me. Either that or it's somehow my fault that he left. The last time we talked, he was being weird and then he was just… gone."

Bruce pushed to his feet. "I'll talk to him."

Steve spent the rest of the day hoping that Bruce would say something to fix it all, but nothing anyone did seemed to help. Tony was distant for the entire rest of the week, and then two more weeks after that, drinking enough caffeine to fuel a VW bus - and probably stronger stuff too - going out clubbing, dancing, and falling into pools with his clothes on. It looked a lot like the Tony from before Steve got to know him. The one who was always in the tabloids.

And Steve missed his friend, missed him dearly. His heart ached where it used to be filled with Tony's smiles and laughter and kindness. Tony barely gave him the time of day, let alone carefully thought out gifts and gentle reassurance. The rest of the team was great, Steve loved them, and he really was adjusting well to the 21st century, even with his occasional hiccups, but Tony was his ground. More than that… he was Steve's… something.

Steve sighed and flopped backwards onto his couch. It didn't help that his entire apartment was filled with little Tony touches. Art Tony had bought, little notes Tony had left him that Steve had saved, all the tech Tony had provided for him, even though Steve still used very little of it.

Steve picked up his tablet, not able to convince himself that it wasn't because Tony had given it to him, and started poking at it. The opening screen was full of notices of all the things he'd missed since Tony had set it up, but after some random stabbing and cursing, he figured out how to wipe them away. 

There were four icons on the main screen. The first was the email Tony was always talking about - back when he was actually talking to Steve - the second was a drawing program Tony had showed Steve how to use on his own phone first, the third seemed to be a game called "Flicky Cats" that started incredibly loud and obnoxious music the second Steve pressed it, and the last was a simple notepad program.

At the bottom were links to a phone option - though JARVIS could just make Steve's entire apartment call whoever he wanted - and the Avengers group text - which they all knew Steve never checked, Tony usually reading anything good out loud to him when they were together. There was also a camera.

The game was quickly excluded from things Steve ever wanted to look at again, and the notepad program looked useful, but Steve didn't have anything to write down that wouldn't end up being sappy musings on the loss of his best friend. He didn't want to start using the group chat now, though he did scroll back a ways and read some of the things Tony, Clint, Bruce, and Nat sent to each other. It only depressed him, though, to see that even though he was acting oddly, Tony was still animatedly talking to the others - it really was just Steve he was avoiding.

Next, was the drawing program. Steve opened it and doodled for a while, first with his fingers, and then with the pen JARVIS informed him was attached to the inside of the tablet. It was pretty neat, and in a better mood, Steve could see himself getting into it, but there was nothing he wanted to draw right now, and no one to show it to should he actually finish something. 

All other options exhausted, Steve clicked on the email app.

The inbox was a wall of unread messages - _147_ the app informed him \- and Steve winced at the sheer volume of it all. He started scrolling through, but it was all the spam Tony had told him about, useless messages, cons, etc. There were a few newsletters that Tony must have signed him up for, as well as a daily message from the newspaper that had started this whole damn thing.

Then, near the top, was a message that looked different from the others. 

_ 5/10/12 _ \----   [ _ tstark@avengers.com _ ](mailto:tstark@avengers.com) _ \----   _ [ _ srogers@avengers.com _ ](mailto:srogers@avengers.com) _ \----  I don't know how to say this to your face… _

Something from Tony? There were other messages from him, near the beginning, testing things out, but this was different. Maybe Tony had tried to interest him in his email with a funny picture or joke. Guilt settled hot in Steve's stomach. Tony was always trying to get him to use his email and Steve never had. It hadn't occurred to him that Tony might send him messages that way when they lived right beside each other. 

Steve opened the message.  
  


**Date:** 5/10/12  
**From:** [tstark@avengers.com  
](mailto:tstark@avengers.com)**To:** [srogers@avengers.com](mailto:srogers@avengers.com)

 **Subject:** _I don't know how to say this to your face…_

_ … but I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you. I know that's like - crazy. And coming out of nowhere. Maybe. Or maybe not. Maybe I'm not as subtle as I think I am. I just… I can't stop thinking about it, about you. And what we could be… _

_ I used to hate you, maybe, just a little bit. And I don't mean on the helicarrier, that was the sceptre, that wasn't real. But the way my dad talked about you, kinda made me hate you. Kid jealousy stuff. But when I grew up and found my own place and realized my self-identity didn't revolve around what my dad wanted me to be (shut up I've totally realized this and not just copied it down from one of my therapy worksheets), I started reading up on the actual files about you, real stories, and I think it started there. Then I met you and wow - yeah, I get our first meeting wasn't the best but since then… _

_ You're one of my best friends and even when we argue I just feel this - Well. You drive me crazy, Rogers. I can't stop thinking about you, how happy you make me - and that's a tough sell, for me - and how much I believe in you and respect you and want you. _

_ And the thing is, I have no idea how you feel. I'm pretty sure you consider us friends, yeah, we're friends. But you have this way of sometimes sort of flashing an emotion that might be more and then you school it under control again. And it's got me thinking, like all the time, that maybe you just need me to take the first step, make the first move. Like maybe you've been thinking about it too. _

_ Or maybe not. Maybe you're super straight, or I'm not your type, or I've been reading something into a whole lotta nothing. But, Steve, I just couldn't not say something anymore. So this is my shot, my move, my first step, and now the ball's in your court. I don't want to make things weird, so if the answer is no, just pretend I never sent this and things will stay the way they are.  _

_ If it's yes? Well, heck, you can show me however you want, I guess. I'm not above being dipped, just saying. I kid - but maybe a date? Just come to me or write me back and tell me when and where. I'll be there.  _

_ Love,  
_ _ Tony _

Steve couldn't feel his body. Everything was numb, his heart crawling up in his throat and his eyes hot. He read it four times then stared at the email address it was sent from. That was really Tony. He'd really written that.  _ Three weeks ago.  _

_ Love, _ _  
_ _ Tony _

The day with Terminator and cheesecake and Tony being weird - that was the day after he'd sent this. Tony had been waiting for an answer that whole time, and Steve hadn't said anything. Tony had even asked him if he'd checked his email, and Steve had yes, and Tony… Tony had been crushed. The numbness receded and left aching pain in its place, filling his chest and robbing his lungs of air. Tony thought he'd been rejected, that Steve had read the email and decided no. And now… what if Steve was too late?

"Shit!" Steve jerked back in his chair and twisted up to his feet, almost stumbling to the floor, but catching himself on the edge of the desk at the last minute. "JARVIS, where is Tony?"

"Mr. Stark is in the penthouse."

"Is he alone?"  _ Please, please, please.  _

"Yes, sir."

_ "Thank you,  _ JARVIS!" Steve powered to the stairs, not able to wait for the elevator, and started winding up flight after flight. He was panting by the time he burst through the doors to the highest floor, more out of stress than the minor exercise. He tumbled up to Tony's door and knocked, every nerve vibrating with tense anticipation. Not wanting to freak Tony out, he tried to school his breathing and relax whatever expression was twisting his face up.

The door popped open, and Tony took Steve in, one eyebrow quirking up. Maybe he hadn't quite gotten himself under control. "Steve?"

"Hi. Tony. Sorry. I know it's late, but I need you - need to talk to you."

Tony blinked once then stepped back, gesturing Steve in. "It's fine. If you need me -"

Steve stepped in and watched as Tony closed the door then turned to face him, confused. The silence dragged on a moment too long, and Steve burst out the only thing he could think to say, "I got your email!"

Tony's expression slammed shut like heavy vault doors. His lips twitched once, jaw tensing, then he snapped his eyes over Steve's shoulder, focusing somewhere in the middle distance. "Right. Yeah. Look, don't worry about it, okay. I know, I haven't been - lately - I just need some time. We don't have to talk about it. I get it. I'll be fine. Eventually."

"No!" Steve's hand twitched towards him then pulled back. "No… I  _ just  _ got your email. Just now. Like an hour ago."

"What?"

"I - I lied, Tony. I'm sorry. I told you I was checking my email, but I wasn't. I see you every day. It never occured to me that you might send me something important there. And… honestly the whole email thing kind of freaked me out. So I ignored it. But you were so happy! To make it for me. And I'm honestly grateful for everything you've done to help me get settled here in the future and I - you thought I saw your letter when I didn't, and I'm so, so sorry. I would have talked to you right away if I'd known -"

"It's okay," Tony breathed, sitting down hard at the kitchen table. He waved a hand towards Steve. "It's okay, Steve. Don't worry about it. I forgive you."

"No…" Steve stepped closer, grabbed the hand Tony was still waving about, and brushed his fingertips along the palm. "I would have  _ talked to you, Tony."  _ Steve waited until Tony met his eyes then tried to pour into them everything he was feeling.

Tony stood up sharply, his hand wrapping tightly around Steve's and clinging there. His eyes were wide. "Really? I - do you -?"

"Am I too late?"

"No," Tony breathed. "Never too late for you."

"Still not above being dipped?" Steve tried boldly. 

He was worried he'd miss Tony's reply through the pounding of his heart, rattling through his body, but Tony's smile bloomed slowly into something too bright and deep and real that Steve's heart stopped just long enough to hear, "Yes."

Steve wound his arms around Tony's waist, savouring the new closeness of their bodies and the way Tony sunk into his hold. Tony was warm and solid and heavy in his arms, relaxing his weight against Steve's chest. Steve tipped his chin down until they were so close, he could feel the hot puff of Tony's breath against his cheek. Their gazes held, Tony's wide brown eyes not wavering where they were fixed on Steve's. 

Steve twisted, taking Tony's weight fully in his arms, and dipped him towards the floor. "I love you, too."' He kissed him. It was like everything that had been a little bit out of whack snapped properly in place, and Steve was flushed with a profound relief. Tony was warm and giving and soft in his arms, letting Steve push the kiss deeper, taste the edges of his lips, and he found a hint of more on Tony's tongue that made his whole body shudder.

Tony broke the kiss with a brilliant smile then stole two more in rapid succession before leaning back to grin up at Steve. "Gonna hold me here all day?"

"Was thinking about it. I'm afraid if I put you back on your feet…"

"Hey…" Tony caressed Steve's cheek lightly, then traced the curve of his lip. "I'm not going anywhere. I meant it then and I mean it now."

Steve swallowed heavily and swung Tony back up onto his feet. He released him, but Tony didn't back away, pressing closer instead. "So, uh, we on for that date then?" Steve tried.

Tony beamed and started shuffling backwards towards the living room, drawing Steve along with him. "Definitely. How's right now?"

"Perfect."


End file.
